You see, sometimes we’re moving so fast that we become disconnected from the natural rhythm of life. Just like there are four seasons in the year, there are seasons when you’re going and seasons when you’re slowing. The trick is being in tune enough to know which season you’re in and to prepare for the peaks and valleys along the way.

I once hosted an Instagram Live where I shared how I ran my agency, MOXIE Nashville. At the time, I was coming off a season of having contract team members working all over the country. I had clients across DEI, higher education, nonprofit, and faith-based industries. To say it was busy would be an understatement.

During that live, I shared that my goal as a business owner was to make sure the peaks weren’t too high and the valleys weren’t too steep. That kind of fluctuation can be volatile in business and prevent steady, sustainable growth. At the time, it was a lot to manage, but everything was moving so fast, and I genuinely enjoyed what I was doing.

While I look back on that season fondly and with pride, if I ever scaled my business back to that level again, I would do things differently because there was something I sacrificed to hold space for that level of productivity: I overlooked some major warning signs.

Now, were these signs anything I couldn’t bounce back from? Not really. But did some of them cost me time, energy, peace, and money? In some instances, yes.

One of my favorite comedians, Ali Siddiq, opens his Domino Effect I special by joking, “There are times in life when you zigged when you shoulda zagged.” The same can be true of making the right decision in the wrong season.

“But Vannesia, how do I know if I’m zigging or zagging? If I’m in spring or summer?”

I’m glad you asked.

There will be gentle nudges throughout your life that point you toward the direction you should go and the season you should pivot into. Even when the world around you looks chaotic, you’ll have an inner knowing about what to do or who to consult, even if it’s not your first instinct. If you’re a person of faith, you might call it the gift of discernment. I used the word gift intentionally because it truly is one.

Sometimes it’s a loud “Error 404.”

Sometimes it’s a gut feeling.

But when you know, you know.

Here’s an example.

I knew it was time to shift when I got an email from a client saying they weren’t going to renew their contract. I let out an audible exhale of relief, and I shocked myself.

“What was that?” I asked.

When I sat with the feeling, I realized it was a sign of change and that I didn’t want to run my business at that scale anymore. I sat with that feeling for a few days, prayed about it, and then started figuring out how to scale the business down.

Seven months later, I returned to the workforce. A few months after that, I was accepted into a Ph.D. program. My life looks different from the way it did the day I let out that exhale, and I’m grateful I took the risk.

Did I know what I was making room for? Absolutely not.

Does every story have a happy ending? Not necessarily.

The reality is that seasons will always change. Once you sense a shift on the horizon, do your best to pay attention to it.

If you’re in the middle of a seasonal change right now (or on the cusp of one) I want to leave you with two questions:

• How do you know when it’s time to make a move?

• Are you in tune enough to recognize when it’s time?

I hope you’ll take time to calmly sit with yourself and figure out where you are in this season of your life. It doesn’t have to take long, either. Think back on the signs you’ve already been given. They may be pointing you in the right direction, and you owe it to yourself to pay attention.

Always speak life,

Vannesia

Continue the Conversation:

• Join the MOXIE Roundtable on 7/27 for a live conversation on life, business, and career. ​Learn more​.

• Looking for support with your business, brand, or career? ​Work with me​.

• Interested in having me on your podcast, panel, or stage? ​Invite me to speak​.

• If these reflections have been meaningful, you can ​buy me a cup of tea​.

Affiliate Disclaimer: Some of the links in this post are affiliate links, and if you go through them to make a purchase, I will earn a commission. Keep in mind that I link these companies and their products because of their quality and not because of the commission I receive from your purchases. The decision is yours, and whether or not you buy something is completely up to you.

It’s the classic, “Had I known then what I know now,” sort of thing where you can see all their potential, you can see their wheels turning, but sometimes they need the voice of someone with different experiences to broaden their outlook on a situation.

Because, let’s face it: perspective matters.

About Last Week…

Last week, I had the opportunity to work with some very talented students during the Diversity Leadership Institute hosted by the American Marketing Association (AMA). I completed a similar fellowship at the University of North Carolina-Charlotte during undergrad, so when the AMA reached out to me, it was a resounding yes.

For five days, we took over the Gies College of Business at the University of Illinois Urbana-Champaign. Alongside the incredibly kind AMA and Gies teams and three of the best facilitators ever, we worked with 19 talented undergraduate students from across the country with diverse backgrounds, identities, and communities.

Through workshops, simulations, and, of course, some fun and games, we explored various aspects of marketing and what’s possible through education, entrepreneurship, and the relationships they build.

And...the students brought the heat during their final presentations! I was so proud.

It was truly one of the most enriching experiences of my life, and I got to present a new workshop on the career moves no one teaches you.

I’m interactive when I present and love a bit of call-and-response. One slide, in particular, sparked a discussion about what should be shared online. In addition to safety concerns and employees getting fired for what they post, I stressed that what seems harmless to them can be misconstrued simply because someone viewed it through a different lens.

We talked about examples of people who were reprimanded at work for what they posted, but I could also have shared some from my professional experience. There are so many instances where people thought sharing good news was great publicity. However, others saw it as an opportunity to sabotage them or leak information that wasn’t public yet to elicit that shock value.

We see it on our timelines and feeds every day. Content can drive different levels of engagement simply by who posts it, how it’s edited, and how facts are framed. Then it’s delivered to us to believe.

And let’s not get started on the number of creators whose inventions or intellectual property have been stolen and repackaged by another creator or company, with the stolen video yielding much better results than the original ever did.

Barring the plagiarism, instances like these catch my attention as a marketer.

The same story, the same experiences, but a different outcome.

The Truth Behind the Photos

What I wanted the students to walk away with was the idea that perceptions are shaped not only by facts, but also by who tells the story.

And the same goes for us.

What we tell ourselves matters.

Who we let speak into our lives matters.

What we consume matters.

How we perceive situations, whether positively, negatively, or neutrally, matters.

They all play a role in shaping how we see the world.

Be intentional about the perspective you take on your life, regardless of what others say. Not only for your sake, but also so you can edit and delete as needed when people give you another story that may be misaligned with your experience. Oftentimes, people project onto us what they think our stories should be, but I’ll save that for another post.

When it’s all said and done, it’s your story to tell. And trust me, it’s worth telling.

Always speak life,

Vannesia

Continue the Conversation:

• Join the MOXIE Roundtable on 7/27 for a live conversation on life, business, and career. ​Learn more​.

• Looking for support with your business, brand, or career? ​Work with me​.

• Interested in having me on your podcast, panel, or stage? ​Invite me to speak​.

• If these reflections have been meaningful, you can ​buy me a cup of tea​.

Affiliate Disclaimer: Some of the links in this post are affiliate links, and if you go through them to make a purchase, I will earn a commission. Keep in mind that I link these companies and their products because of their quality and not because of the commission I receive from your purchases. The decision is yours, and whether or not you buy something is completely up to you.

“There are seasons of hustle, but hustle isn’t the ultimate goal for your life”.

It was as if I was hearing for the first time. Everything I felt over the course of the past few months was summed up in that entire phrase. It was as if my subsequent sigh of relief was a reflex action to the pressure I had been nursing while embarking on the journey of entrepreneurship.

The speaker was Jessica N. Turner, bestselling author, full time marketer, wife and mother of three. I sat in my chair in the ballroom at the Embassy Suites and listened intently as she and the remaining powerhouse panel of high achievers poured knowledge and wisdom into the audience. I dared to put down my sweet danish in exchange for words that nourished the soul; not merely the body. That day, I finally figured out the difference between those who say what they are going to do something, and those who actually do it. It’s the same difference that prompts Warren Buffett to purchase when everyone is selling. It’s the same difference a parent makes when they sacrifice their own desires to ensure a better future for their children. The difference is simple: it’s the investment.

What Jessica was saying was not a new phenomenon, but it was the first time I heard it phrased in such an eloquence. It was the first time I heard someone coin The Season of the Hustle. Similar to the natural seasons on this earth, we have times when we are bundled up with long johns, hats, scarves and gloves as snowflakes sprinkle from the sky. And then, there are those scorching hot days when a pair of shorts and a tank top seems like too much.

The idea of seasons can also be paralleled in one’s life. There are going to be times when you have to work really hard…like, really hard (I tried to make that sound prettier, but that’s all I got). You’re going to have to put more in and demand more of yourself than you ever had before. Maybe the season arrives when you’re at work and have to prove you are worthy of that promotion you’ve had your eye on. It could come when you’re on the treadmill and crank up the speed in attempt to break your personal fitness record. Perhaps it arrives during the holidays when you pick up a retail side-gig in order to secure a little extra cash to spend on the ones you love. This period of preparation is usually for a moment. You don’t plan to be at work 10 hours every day, run at an incline on the treadmill forever, or even work two jobs for the rest of your life. It is merely a season.

It’s important to categorize the time for what it is: The Season of the Hustle. When I needed extra money to take the GMAT and pay for graduate school applications, I put on my purple polo and went back to Babies R Us during Christmas season. When I first began blogging, I never saw a dime for my features. Even when I was preparing for entrepreneurship, there are many times that I worked for free, and to this day, I complete many “labors of love” with no intention of sending an invoice. I’m not preaching the “work for free” epidemic, because bills are real. However, the gains you acquire when you are strengthening your hustle can’t be purchased. You have to work for it.

You’ll be amazed at what skills you acquire in the process. Soon you’ll be on cruise control because of the overtime you put in at this very moment. Don’t look for a shiny trophy at the end of the season. The prize may not come wrapped in a bow with your name on it. It may manifest in the form of more confidence, developed trust, and an intense degree of MOXIE (see what I did there?).

Put the work in and have confidence in this truth: the hustle is always rewarded.

Know a friend who could benefit from a message like this? Spread the wealth and send them here.

Affiliate Disclaimer: Some of the links in this post are affiliate links, and if you go through them to make a purchase, I will earn a commission. Keep in mind that I link to these companies and their products because of their quality, not because of the commission I receive from your purchases. The decision is yours, and whether or not you buy something is up to you.

Me.

A whole me.

The same person who said she was not going to college.

The same person who said she was dropping out of undergrad.

I would say, “I can’t believe it!” but baby, we worked hard for this! I felt every single day of it: all 130+ pages of my dissertation, the years of research, the writing in airports, planes, and hotels, reading journal articles in the back of Ubers and Lyfts...this one, I can believe 😂.

But what truly surprised me was the overwhelming excitement from people I didn’t even know. From the “Yaaaas!” I heard from the audience when they read my degree at commencement to the woman at the hotel who screamed, “You got a doctorate?! I know that’s right!” when I walked in wearing my graduation tam, the joy is tangible.

GRAMMY Award-winning music producer Donald Lawrence once said, “We become so that others can become.” While I’ve always believed that, sometimes we don’t fully realize the impact our lives have until we witness other people’s reactions to our journey. And I’m learning that it hits differently on every level.

I’ve spent 9.5 years in college, 1.5 years teaching at the university level, and countless hours serving universities through board service, speaking engagements, guest lectures, and consulting with executive leadership. This week, I felt the culmination of it all, and you know what? It felt good.

The truth behind the photos:

Now, you know I have to give you a little backstory behind every feel-good moment. The thing I’m most grateful for during this journey is that I managed to keep my health mostly intact.

During my second year, I was diagnosed with Graves’ disease after some lab work came back abnormal. It was fairly aggressive, so I started treatment right away and stayed consistent with my thyroid ultrasounds and routine bloodwork. Over the last year and a half, my thyroid has fluctuated between Hashimoto’s thyroiditis and Graves’ disease, which is medically unusual (they’re at opposite ends of the spectrum) and only reserved for special little snowflakes like me (note the sarcasm!).

While the symptoms can be intense, I found peace in knowing I had already done so much work to care for my health over the years. Doctors were always surprised at how I was still thriving in life, but they didn’t know that I knew the Healer *insert church rock* 😂.

I had become so in tune with my body that I could even recognize when things were shifting, and I added an amazing endocrinologist to my wellness team who answers every single question I have without hesitation. I’m feeling great, and I genuinely believe things will stabilize now that I no longer have the constant undertone of school lingering in the background.

The point of it all:

So what’s the lesson in all this? The point is that whether circumstances are good or bad, high or low, we don’t always get to choose them, and we aren’t absolved of our purpose because life gets hard.

Some of my highest highs also came with really private lows. I share some of them so you don’t become disillusioned into thinking I’m living a dream life without any problems. Additionally, I’ve worked with some of the most successful people throughout my career and, believe me, everyone has something they’re carrying.

During my final defense, the program’s executive director asked me what one thing I learned over the past three years. I reminded him that during my first semester, he challenged what he considered surface-level questioning. He told me to “dig deep.”

And that’s exactly what I did.

And that’s what I challenge you to do: DIG DEEP.

Don’t live a surface life. You’re worth so much more than that. This program reinforced that the questions we have about life are worth asking, the dreams we have are worth pursuing, and the causes we love are worth fighting for.

I’ll leave you with the last two stanzas of one of my favorite poems from childhood, “Do It Anyway” by Mother Teresa:

Give the world the best you have, and it may never be enough.

Give the best you’ve got anyway.

You see, in the final analysis, it is between you and God.

It was never between you and them anyway.

Thanks for being part of my journey. I needed you more than you’ll ever know.

Always speak life,

Vannesia Darby, Ph.D.

Latest Updates:

• Watch my episode of the God and Gigs Show with Allen C. Paul: here​

• MOXIE Nashville’s website got a facelift. Check it out! View here​

• If you’d like me to consider speaking at your conference, being a guest on your podcast, or doing a virtual chat with your private community, be sure to complete my booking form​

Know a friend who could benefit from a message like this? Spread the wealth and send them here.

Affiliate Disclaimer: Some of the links in this post are affiliate links, and if you go through them to make a purchase, I will earn a commission. Keep in mind that I link to these companies and their products because of their quality, not because of the commission I receive from your purchases. The decision is yours, and whether or not you buy something is up to you.

I kind of like showing you the BTS of what’s happening in real time, too. I do have some events coming up that I’m really excited about. Let’s run through these announcements, and then I’ll share a little bit more.

Upcoming Webinar: If you’re interested in learning about entertainment marketing, I’m teaming up with Qyana Agina next Wednesday to host RIP Music Marketing: The New Era of Connecting to Fans.

Let me tell you how crazy the internet is because what started as a LinkedIn connection turned into a whole webinar. Qyana and I connected on LinkedIn after a mutual connection commented on a post that came up in my feed. Her background in marketing is incredible. She’s worked with brands like COVERGIRL, P&G, Pandora/SiriusXM, and Warner Music Group, as well as campaigns supporting artists like Lizzo, Jennifer Lopez, and Janelle Monáe. We’ll talk about music marketing and have a good time. The webinar is free! Tap the link below to register (or forward this email to someone you think would be interested).

Register Here

Back on the mic: I had an absolute ball at the Nashville Business Journal’s Mentoring Monday event. It was amazing being a panelist and speaking with over 300 women. We talked about everything from promotions to partners to parents to perimenopause. Nothing was off-limits.

Later this month, I’ll be on the God & Gigs Show with Allen C. Paul! Be sure to check out his podcast and resources now. I’ll let you know when my episode releases.

The PhD journey continues: Data collection has begun for my dissertation (dun-dun-dunnnn). I have one more big experiment to run, so pray that everything comes out how I hypothesized! If not, I’ll write up the results anyway, but still. These Barbie memes depict the two states I oscillate between when it comes to schoolwork:

Work-Life: Season 4 of Bridgerton is officially out in the world! After nearly three months of high-octane marketing at work, I am finally coming down. I’ve been part of my fair share of promo runs in my day, but this one? This was intricate. However, the fans noticed, and the numbers reflected the hard work everyone put in, so it was worth it. Some more photos from the Paris premiere are below!

The truth behind the photos: I want to go back to that feeling I mentioned earlier, the desire to “get back to our normal rhythm.” I’ve found myself feeling like that for a minute. Between work and school, I’ve spent the majority of my time engrossed in my laptop since February 2025. Airports have become my “mobile office” more often than I expected. My phone has stayed on Do Not Disturb for most of the time. I sent a “BRB, going to launch a show and collect data” text to my friends, whom I normally engage with every day.

And here’s the truth: sometimes you need to do that. Maybe you’re not launching a show or going back to school. But maybe you do need time to lock in to get your health together, launch your business, or just take care of yourself or your family.

If you find yourself doing that, always make sure it’s temporary. Separation can turn into isolation if we’re not careful. You have to make sure you come up for air.

And that’s where the power of a routine comes in, because you know what your baseline is. You know what it’s like to feel your best. I encourage you to write down what it takes to get there, even put it as a note in your phone. That way, you can recognize when you’re a little off and course correct if needed.

I intentionally said the words “get back to our normal rhythm” because this life is truly a dance. Sometimes the music speeds up, sometimes it slows down, and sometimes the music changes completely. But if you find your little two-step, you can keep moving through it.

I would also be remiss if I didn’t share that sometimes the rhythm change isn’t our fault. I look at the state of the world right now, and it seems like every time I turn on the news or go on social media, something else is happening. Marvin Gaye was asking the right question when he sang “What’s Going On.” If you or someone you know is negatively impacted by current events, please know my heart goes out to you. I encourage you to stay informed, but also guard your heart. Routines can help with that, too.

People always say, “Life is short,” but I choose to believe that we have just enough time to walk in our purpose. Keep your head up, and let’s keep moving.

Always speak life,

Vannesia

Know a friend who could benefit from a message like this? Spread the wealth and send them here.

Affiliate Disclaimer: Some of the links in this post are affiliate links, and if you go through them to make a purchase, I will earn a commission. Keep in mind that I link to these companies and their products because of their quality, not because of the commission I receive from your purchases. The decision is yours, and whether or not you buy something is up to you.

My phone wasn’t ringing off the hook with speaking invitations (I didn’t even have a booking form back then). But you know where I could speak for free? YouTube. I’d sometimes even record my raw thoughts with no notes, just to practice my pacing. I just believed that one day the “practice” would come in handy as the owner of a digital marketing agency. I was naive enough not to question the belief.

I laugh when people say, “You seem so comfortable speaking.” It’s because I spoke for years without an audience, just practicing and getting my reps in. Don’t look at someone’s chapter 40 and compare it to your chapter 2. Both stories are still being written. Keep getting the reps in. You never know where life will lead you, but you'll be ready for it.

Always speak life,

Vannesia

Know a friend who could benefit from a message like this? Spread the wealth and send them here.

Affiliate Disclaimer: Some of the links in this post are affiliate links and if you go through them to make a purchase I will earn a commission. Keep in mind that I link these companies and their products because of their quality and not because of the commission I receive from your purchases. The decision is yours, and whether or not you decide to buy something is completely up to you.

The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit. - Proverbs 18:21

Hey! I’m Vannesia (pronounced similar to “Vanessa,” but with an extra kick!). I’m an entertainment marketer, consultant, and researcher.

Along the way, I’ve launched campaigns for Shondaland, Universal Music Group, and the YMCA. My words have found their way into Teen Vogue and The Drake Management Review. I’ve built a consulting agency, produced some podcasts, and even returned to corporate life in 2022.

But, do you want to know the funny thing?

I was the last person to know it would be me doing these things.

Now that I’m a little seasoned in this game of life, I understand that it has taken both grace and grit to shape my purpose. That is why I’m writing to you now.

I’ve always had a lot to say (check out the throwback photo from my Easter speech).

Here, I’m sharing the life, business, and career lessons I wish I’d had when I was younger (and lowkey, still use today).

That said, this space isn’t about my résumé or simply my purpose. It’s about you and yours.

If you’re always the one who speaks up…
The one people come to for advice…
The one who “always knows what to say”…
The one who finds yourself inconvenienced for the sake of others…
The one who feels compelled by a message and a passion you can’t quite shake…

I want to encourage you not to run from that.

I want to encourage you not to run from it. That pull you feel to do something in times of injustice or inequity? Don’t ignore it. Lean into it. How that plays out will be unique to you, but don’t run from it.

I often talk about purpose because I know what it feels like to be called to more. And not in some esoteric sort of way, but in a way that makes you different among your peers.

From entrepreneurship to entertainment to education, my goal is to give you practical tools and a dose of faith so you can build both the brand and the life you’ve been called to.

I believe God designed us to thrive in business and flourish in life. I hope that my journey reminds you that you are more than capable, and that with faith, works, and the courage to speak life, you can become everything you’re meant to be.

So, welcome. I’m glad you’re here. Let’s grow together.

Always speak life,
Vannesia

Let’s stay connected:

• Instagram: @vannesiadarby

• Facebook: Vannesia Darby

• LinkedIn: Vannesia Darby

• Website: vannesiadarby.com

• Work with me: moxienashville.com

This week, I’m returning to a quote I shared in 2019. I revisit it often and even referenced it last week in a conversation with a friend. It still holds true for me five years later - especially as I get ready to begin the second year of my PhD program.

The quote is an excerpt from Sometimes You Win, Sometimes You Learn by John C. Maxwell:

“When we fail or have a bad experience, we need to learn to become more like scientists and inventors. When their work fails, they call it an experiment that didn’t work. Or they say they tested a hypothesis. Or they term it data collection. They keep their perspective, avoid taking it personally, learn from it, and leverage it for future success. What a great way to look at things” (Maxwell, 2013).

Words are important.

The mere power of perception can reshape a failure into a prerequisite for future success.

Cheers to all the data that will be collected and hypotheses that will be tested this week! :)

Always speak life,

Vannesia

Know a friend who could benefit from an email like this? Spread the wealth and send them here.

Latest Updates:

🔍 Learn from the mere power of perception​

👉🏾 Want to switch careers? Here’s how

📣 Tighten up your brand with my Social Media 101 Bundle

Affiliate Disclaimer: Some of the links in this post are affiliate links and if you go through them to make a purchase I will earn a commission. Keep in mind that I link these companies and their products because of their quality and not because of the commission I receive from your purchases. The decision is yours, and whether or not you decide to buy something is completely up to you.

I’ve been digging in the archives, finding some of my popular blog posts, and adding them to my website. I’m also recording them now in audio format (hello, repurposing content?!). Here’s one from 2019 that still reigns true. Enjoy!

Every season serves a purpose.

And I’m not just saying that because it’s cute rhetoric. I’m saying it because it’s true. A couple of weeks ago, I made some astonishing discoveries about how I deal with stress - eustress, distress, chronic stress, all of it.

And here’s what I realized: I typically haven’t dealt with it well...like, ever.

From the outside, many people wouldn’t know because I’m wired to keep it pushing.

I can even fool myself sometimes because I’ll have a fantastic day with friends or family, which makes me pause my responsibilities. Although mentally, I may trick myself into believing it’s all good, let me tell you what won’t be fooled - your physical body.

I’m grateful the Big Man Upstairs set it up that way so we don’t work ourselves into a complete and utter frenzy.

The funny thing is, I always tell my small business clients that if they ignore stress, it will ALWAYS manifest somewhere. It can be physical in the form of acne, weight gain, weight loss, or even mental, with negative thoughts, overgeneralization, or snappy remarks.

Oh, and let’s not forget the emotional eating.

But here’s the real kicker and the number one reason why I didn’t catch it in the beginning:

It doesn’t always appear the same way twice.

The stress I endured while in undergrad is not the same stress I felt when working my 9 to 5. The stress at my 9 to 5 wasn’t the same stress in graduate school. And any stress to keep up with the Joneses, the Jetsons, or the Kardashians is insanely different now that we have social media.

Stress takes on different forms, and it’s completely unique to you. I would be remiss if I didn’t revisit this topic every once in a while because it’s real. (Plus, anytime I can help someone have an “a-ha” moment from what I’ve gone through, this blog has served its purpose.)

It’s up to us to figure out our signs by learning how to be in tune with our bodies - they will always let us know. In my opinion, self-awareness is one trait that we can control in order to make us better creators, contributors, and members of society.

Let’s do a better job of giving ourselves a little more grace. Remember, your purpose is so big, but there’s no need to feel pressured by it. It’s designed just for you.

Breathe easy this week!

Always speak life,

Vannesia

Know a friend who could benefit from an email like this? Spread the wealth and send them here.

Latest Updates:

🙏🏾 Give yourself a little grace

⭐️ Check out my latest feature in Bold Journey Magazine​

👉🏾 Dig deeper into your career with my Career Series

✅ Download my free audio training for 3 truths every creative should know

Affiliate Disclaimer: Some of the links in this post are affiliate links and if you go through them to make a purchase I will earn a commission. Keep in mind that I link these companies and their products because of their quality and not because of the commission I receive from your purchases. The decision is yours, and whether or not you decide to buy something is completely up to you.

This week’s post may sting slightly, but know that it’s all in love.

Are you ready?

Okay, listen...

You can’t avoid “THE WORK”

Look, if you subscribe to my weekly emails or follow me on social media, it’s because there’s something in you that believes you’re destined for greatness. There’s something in you that resonates with change. Something inside of you recognizes that you have a gift.

But the gift isn’t free.

Responsibilities are attached, and people don’t tell you that being “gifted” is just the beginning.

Have you ever been in a relationship with someone? Business, romantic, platonic - it doesn’t matter. Do you realize how much you have to talk to that person, explain to that person, and ensure you are on the same page as you interpret ideas and concepts?

And when you have a disagreement, you have to fight together to stay aligned. If you change or the other person changes, you have to be in tune with those changes and even communicate more.

You only do that if you value that relationship. It’s a daily process that you get to endure with someone else. It’s THE WORK.

Now, take that same principle and apply it to yourself. You’re in a relationship with your gifts. And you have to learn how your gifts work, when and where to use them, who and what you need to be supported, and why only YOU can do what you’re destined to do.

“But Vannesia, I just want to do my thing!”

Punkin’....

Precious...

Sugarlump...

It’s not just about YOU.

Some people are waiting for you to become who you’re called to be. When you procrastinate or lag, it’s preventing them from seeing the work in action.

This is exactly why I talk about various topics like resting, working, community, faith, and everywhere in between. I’m just here to give you the tools.

It’s up to you to build this life.

If you’re dissatisfied with anything in your life right now, know that you have the power and the tools to change it. Grab your hammer. We got some work to do.

Always speak life,

Vannesia

Know a friend who could benefit from an email like this? Spread the wealth and send them here.

Latest Updates:

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So, last week, we examined our mindset and wrote down some things to bring about change. How did that process go?

It can be scary to look at what you want to change on paper, in black and white. But, be encouraged! This is a huge step towards your goals and here’s a little secret: change may not take as long as you think.

Bill Gates is credited for saying, “Most people overestimate what they can do in one year and underestimate what they can do in 10 years.”

A bar, right?!

In my humble opinion, I believe many people overestimate what they can do in 3 months and underestimate what they can do in 1 year.

Give yourself the time and grace to see it through.

Break up with the notion that a setback is time wasted.

When you are working on your goals, you might get off track. And if you get off track, there is always something to be learned and gained. There is no need to beat yourself up, but it is healthy to be curious and understand why you dropped that ball and how you can pick it back up and be consistent.
​Remember, any time you spend on yourself developing is not wasted; it is time invested. Get to know yourself and your why, and outline your process. Give yourself grace and invest your time wisely.

Always speak life,

Vannesia

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We just talked about it not taking as long as you think, and today, I want to explore consistency. What does consistency mean to you?

For me, consistency is not about perfection.

The glue to my consistency involves being patient with myself. As we pursue the thing, the goal, the opportunity, the health, or the peace of mind, we continue to chip away at revealing and creating what we’ve been diligently seeking and working towards all along.

As I labor consistently, I am slowly changing and patiently awaiting the fruit of my labor.

Remember, it is not easy to make these changes, commit to new habits, and adopt a new routine.

Have patience as you are changing.

Have patience as you are undoing.

Have patience as you are unlearning.

Have patience as you are rebuilding.

It’s okay if you regress; that’s normal. It’s okay if you feel like you are not progressing as much; that’s normal.

Consistency doesn’t mean that you have the same amount of progress every single day or week. Consistency means that you give the same amount of effort and keep going.

Read that again.

Make sure you keep it slow and steady as you make meaningful and long-lasting progress and change. Your small steps will add up to big moves.

Always speak life,

Vannesia

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In the spirit of the “New Year, New Me” era, we’re going to run it back to this blog from four years ago! While it was originally written on April 12, 2020, I still live by it. The funny thing is, I don’t even remember what the second opportunity I referenced was! In the words of Kirk Franklin, “Ain’t it funny how a chapter can make a story change?” Enjoy!

I had two big opportunities fall through at the end of last year.
​
Like big-big.
​
Like, hire a CPA because we’re going into another tax bracket big.
​
Now, you know me. I’ve never been one to chase a bag, but I won’t lie and act like it didn’t hurt.
​
What shook me the most was that I was approached for the opportunities in both instances - it wasn’t like I sought anyone out.
​
I felt frustrated and angry that my time and talent had been wasted. But then I remembered what I learned about accepting rejection over the years: Sometimes, the opportunity isn’t yours to have at the moment.​
​
If I had taken those opportunities, I wouldn’t have had time to become a professor this semester (pray for me; we’re heading into finals in a few!). I wouldn’t have had time to finish my new business starter pack program (I can’t WAIT to share it with you!). I probably wouldn’t have taken my much-needed vacation at the top of the year or been able to spend time with my friends and family without obsessively being on my phone due to “work stuff.”
​
Sometimes, we want more.
​
We want bigger.
​
We want better.
​
Nothing is wrong with ambition - you deserve to have nice things and to live your best life! But with that, know that whatever you desire may cost you something to maintain it. In the words of Debbie Macomber, “If the grass is greener on the other side of the fence, you can bet the water bill is higher.”
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Remember, you and I aren’t “at all costs” people. We count the costs.
​
Take time this week to think about what closed doors were blessings in disguise. Look at what “doors” you hope will open and just do a pulse check on your desires: if that door never opens, will you be okay? Just some food for thought.

Always speak life,

Vannesia

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What if I told you that whatever you’re worried about now, you won’t be worried about forever? And that it works out in the end. And that you really can change your life whenever you want to.

How would that change how you move in life?

Well, believe it.

You’re not a mistake.

We need you here.

You’re the one...it’s YOU.

No matter what you’ve been through this year, know that God doesn’t miss.

Remember that nothing is wasted, even when you feel like situations are pointless. All your experiences layer on each other to become stepping stones to your purpose. Remember this throughout the good and bad times.

Remember that Jesus is the reason for the season! Merry Christmas, Happy New Year, and I’ll see you in 2024. 🤍

Always speak life,

Vannesia

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Do you know I got an F on my first business management test in college? It was the first time I had ever received an F before in my life! This was AFTER I got a D in Microeconomics the year before. It wasn’t long before I called my Dad to tell him I was dropping out. He wasn’t going for it.

I felt dumb, especially as a former Straight-A student and young Black woman at a PWI. I went home for spring break and thought, “Forget it. If I’m going to be here, I’m going to have fun.” My cousin and I had fun all week, and I didn’t think about school. Before the drive back, I remember praying for help because I felt like I was out of options.

You want to know what turned it around? My mindset.

I was the one who had a negative attitude toward school. School wasn’t changing, but I had to change. I ended up graduating with honors, doing an extra study abroad program, and being my class commencement speaker. I became president of the Bradley University Black Alumni Alliance, ran my own business for six years full-time, and now I’m in a Ph.D. program. NO ONE is more shocked than me!

I am often told that I am “unrealistic” or “I had it easy, so I don’t know.” Hardly so. Don’t be fooled by social media - life hits me all the time.

However, I don’t believe we were put on this earth to be basic. We all have gifts and talents, and it’s up to us to see them through. I am making an active choice every day to enjoy my life, and I hope this encourages you to do the same.

Always speak life,

Vannesia

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Gather round, we need to talk.

I’ll just get into it: LIFE IS LIFE-ING!

As you might have read in some of my posts, I have been trying to learn how to rest and actively recover for a year and a half. Yes, a year and a half! I used to think that one day, you get to the point where you “make it” or “arrive.” Like, maybe you just had to work until a certain point, and then you could get your Lupe Fiasco on and kick, push, kick, push - COAST.

Somewhere between reading articles, trying to fit in my morning walk, and trying to be present with my friends, I found myself wondering: where and when is my coasting era?!

Don’t get me wrong, on this journey, I have picked up some good habits to manage my health, stress, productivity, and performance. The lesson was learned, all is well, and it makes for a great kumbaya happy ending. But here’s the thing: it doesn’t end.

Not only does it not end - it’s the beginning!

Learning what I’m about to share with you is where I got HUMBLED.

Those good habits got me to a stable and peaceful place. Now, I have to keep doing them to maintain, and I might even need to adapt and adopt others.

It’s like laying bricks - and we’re not playing Jenga.

Although things are running more smoothly because of having the right people on my team, the right projects on my plate, and the right tools in place, I’ve still got to be out here doing the work.

STILL.

And this is what I believe The Bible was referencing when Paul’s homie Luke wrote, “...Everyone to whom much was given, of him much will be required..” (Luke 12:48)

Luke, next time, just @ me, bruh.

Although this is laced with sarcasm, I’m being so honest in hopes that you may look at your own life and reflect.

We are all different, so the habits that work for me may not work for you, and the habits that work for us in one season may need to change the next.

Maybe you need a care team that includes a physical therapist, a counselor, and a personal trainer. Or maybe this could be a commitment to daily reading, moving your body, meal prepping twice a week, and meeting up with friends on a regular basis. This could be free tutoring on your college campus, checking in with a mentor on a regular basis, and having a study buddy in those challenging classes.

I don’t know what your “good habits” look like. I just know that you can’t stop if they have become the foundation to helping you be your best self.

I encourage you to take the time to identify the areas you need to grow in and what that support can look like. There are so many habits you can implement to improve your life. The key is becoming more self-aware and being open to what is needed to both maintain and grow.

Always speak life,

Vannesia

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A lot of what I do is helping people to not only see their potential for their business but also for themselves. It really brings me joy to see others operating in their full potential and actualizing their professional and personal desires.

I often ask some of the same questions I have had to ask myself: Do you like what you are doing? And are you putting yourself first?

If you don’t like what you are doing and find yourself not passionate about work or certain activities you are giving time to, you may need to give yourself permission to expand and grow.

We can get so caught up with work, school, this and that, and suddenly, we’ve put ourselves on the back burner. It is intentional to put yourself first consistently. Read that again.

There will be seasons where it is second nature and times where it can be a daily struggle. Take this time to check in with yourself.

1) How do you want to be treated?

2) How can you treat yourself better?

3) What is your current priority list?

4) What is your desired priority list?

When I met with my executive director for my Ph.D. program, we outlined my priorities – and health was number one. Putting me first meant putting my health first. Followed by my family and obligations and then my Ph.D program. Managing this list well is accomplished through the vulnerability to access where you’re at and then the willingness to make the appropriate changes and adopt the behaviors that will make you most successful.

I will share more on those habits and behaviors next week, but take a moment to answer those questions first. If you need some accountability, hit reply and let me know where you’re at on your priority list. Use this time of the year before it gets busy with family, friends, and Holiday fun to check in with yourself. We all have a list of priorities, but make sure you are at the top.

Always speak life,

Vannesia

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I hope you are getting something out of our Friendship Series! I love it when you share your feedback, so please feel free to let me know.

By now, you may have your crew and your circle, but how do you show up for them? And how do you want your friends to show up for you?

As you ask yourself these questions, bear in mind that there are some people we naturally connect with in multiple ways. Some people just feel great to be around, some people push us to succeed, and some just let us be ugly on FaceTime while we watch TV and stuff our faces with Oreos.

It’s a blessing to have safe spaces to be yourself and to provide that safe space for others. Just remember that everyone doesn’t have the same level of responsibility. Be mindful of that as you’re doing life with others and allowing others to speak into your life.

Here’s what this looks like in real time:

I have a good friend I met in college who just finished up their PhD. When I was about to start my PhD program, I was extremely nervous (I talked about that here). Partly from excitement and anticipation of the unknown, but nervous nonetheless. I was texting them and they asked me if I was ready. In my head I thought...ABSOLUTELY NOT! Haha!

I knew I could be honest in my reply because (1) I trusted them to provide a safe space and (2) I knew they had the experience to empathize and understand without judgment. They immediately replied with the reassurance I needed:

We can’t make it through this life alone. Friendships are essential and the best ones incorporate a level of self awareness from each person. Do the inner work so you will be able to discern who your true friends are and how you can support each other.

Always speak life,

Vannesia

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You know what I’ve realized?

It’s taken me a year and a half to transition.

• I transitioned from full-time entrepreneurship back into corporate America (I talk about that in this podcast interview with Ellie Talks Money and in Brittney Oliver’s article with Glamour Magazine).

• I transitioned from a marketing practitioner into a scholar as a PhD Student (32 months left 😂)

• I transitioned from sick to healed (won’t He do it?!)

And those are just the big ones!

As much as I am thankful, please know that every transition I go through is hard. Every single one. I always share that you can change your life at any moment, but I don’t always talk about how much we all underestimate the time and effort it takes to adjust to change.

Remember when I shared how nervous I was to start my PhD program? Well, my physical body is just now adjusting. The natural anxiousness that stemmed from the newness of the program is starting to leave my body months after my first day.

Hey – I’m human, too!

I am slowly learning to welcome transitions because they are required for growth. It’s not easy. However, my desire to continually evolve and develop supersedes my desire to stay comfortable or sick or broke or sad or ________ (fill in the blank).

Change isn’t always bad, but oftentimes it is hard. Just like increasing resistance and weights help to sculpt our bodies in our workouts (hello, Peloton strength classes!) transitioning helps us to shape our lives into better versions of ourselves. It takes a lot of fortitude to be an active and willing participant in your own growth. This is a process, and we all need to start our next chapter somewhere.

You really can pivot, change, and improve the quality of your life, relationships, and business. Don’t just go through it, grow through it.

Always speak life,

Vannesia

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In our Friendship Series, I reminded you of one of my Mama’s lessons: Everybody ain’t your friend. Let’s pick it up from there when that realization hits and is followed up with action.

Now, the friends you do choose to do life with will require your time, effort, vulnerability, and care. It is understandable that any relationship will not be consistently 50/50. We want grace to be given to us, so it will also be required from us. In the midst of grace, there’s also truth - and you have to be honest with yourself when things get rocky (or even if they start off rocky)

Bowing out looks different for everyone. It could require a conversation, or it could require no words and is just understood. That is up to you and the other person.

When the relationship transitions, it doesn’t necessarily mean you failed. As the old saying goes, “Some people come into your life for a reason, season or lifetime.” You are in your own process, and certain people are meant to walk with you for a season and a season only.

Taking a moment of self-reflection may reveal some lessons about our friendship breakups. They can also provide insight into our own choices. Sometimes, we take people on as friends when they could have just stayed a work homie or associate. Everyone does not need or deserve the same level of access to you and you don’t have to be all in the mix with everyone.

When you take the time to learn and listen to yourself, you can better understand how to establish more mutually beneficial relationships and purposefully pour into each other. When the time is right to part ways, you’ll be able to cherish the good times and be able to be open to the possibilities.

Always speak life,

Vannesia

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